My Baby Won’t Latch
A Gentle Guide to Understanding and Navigating Breastfeeding Challenges
You’re tired. Your baby is crying. You’re doing everything the books and blogs suggest — but no matter how many times you try, they just won’t latch. Or if they do, it’s brief, painful, or inconsistent.
If this is where you are right now, take a deep breath. You are not alone — and you are doing a beautiful job showing up, even when it’s hard.
At Neutral Nest, we believe in slow, responsive parenting — and that includes supporting your feeding journey without shame or pressure. Whether breastfeeding comes easily or not, your experience is valid, and you deserve support.
Here’s a gentle guide to why latching might be difficult and what you can do next — with softness, not stress.
First: What Does “Latching” Mean?
A latch is how your baby attaches their mouth to your breast in order to feed. A good latch helps:
Ensure baby gets enough milk
Prevent sore or damaged nipples
Support comfortable, effective feeding for both of you
When a baby won’t latch — or struggles to stay latched — it can be frustrating, emotional, and even painful. But it’s also common. And, more often than not, it can be worked through.
Why Your Baby Might Not Be Latching
Here are some gentle, non-judgemental reasons why this might be happening:
1. They’re still learning
Newborns are born with instincts, but breastfeeding is still a learned skill — for both of you. It takes time, patience, and practice.
2. They’re overtired or overstimulated
If your baby is too upset, tired, or overstimulated, they may struggle to latch — even if they’re hungry.
3. Birth interventions or a fast delivery
A difficult birth, forceps delivery, or medication during labour can affect your baby’s ability to coordinate their suck or root effectively in the early days.
4. Tongue-tie or oral restrictions
Some babies have a tongue-tie (ankyloglossia), lip-tie, or jaw tension that makes it hard to form a good seal on the breast.
5. Latch position or technique
Even small tweaks in how you’re holding your baby can make a huge difference in comfort and success.
What You Can Try — Gently and Calmly
1. Try Skin-to-Skin Time
Hold your baby on your chest, skin to skin, in a quiet, low-lit space. No pressure to latch — just connect. This resets baby’s reflexes and often encourages natural rooting.
2. Use the ‘Laid-Back’ Breastfeeding Position
Recline slightly and let baby rest tummy-down against your body. This gravity-supported position often triggers instinctive feeding behaviour.
3. Hand Express and Offer a Few Drops
Before latching, try gently hand-expressing a few drops of milk onto your nipple. Let your baby smell and taste it — this can stimulate interest.
4. Feed Before They’re Over-Hungry
Try to catch early hunger cues (rooting, sucking hands, restlessness) rather than waiting until they’re crying or frantic — it's harder for them to focus when distressed.
5. Try a Breastfeeding-Safe Nipple Shield (Short-Term)
Some babies who struggle with latching find it easier with a silicone nipple shield. These can be helpful in the short term under the guidance of a lactation consultant or health visitor.
When to Get Help (And Why You Deserve It)
Breastfeeding challenges are not your fault. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Please reach out to:
An IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant)
Your midwife or health visitor
A local breastfeeding support group or helpline
They can check for things like:
Tongue-tie
Latch and positioning
Supply issues
Any pain or damage you’re experiencing
Sometimes just one session with a knowledgeable, supportive professional can change your whole experience.
If You’re Tired and Emotional, That’s OK Too
Feeding challenges can feel incredibly personal. You might be exhausted, frustrated, even grieving the experience you imagined. That’s valid.
If you need to pump, combination feed, or take a break — you’re not failing. You’re responding. You’re adapting. You’re doing what your baby needs, and that’s the heart of gentle parenting.
You can still build a loving, connected bond no matter how you feed.
Final Thoughts
“My baby won’t latch” is not the end of your feeding story — it’s a chapter, and it can shift. With time, support, and gentleness, many babies go on to latch beautifully — even after a tough start.
But no matter what your journey looks like, please remember this:
You are not doing it wrong.
You are not alone.
You are already enough — just as you are.
At Neutral Nest, we’re here to support you with soothing essentials, calm guidance, and reassurance for the days that feel too much. Your feeding story matters — and we’re with you in every step of it.