How Do I Know If My Baby Has a Tongue Tie?
A Gentle Guide for Curious and Concerned Parents
Breastfeeding hurts. Your baby seems constantly frustrated at the breast. Feeds are frequent but short… or long but unfulfilling. You’ve tried everything, and something just isn’t right.
If you’re wondering whether your baby might have a tongue tie, you’re not alone — and you’re not overthinking it. Tongue tie (also called ankyloglossia) is more common than many parents are told, and it can make feeding feel far more difficult than it needs to be.
At Neutral Nest, we believe in helping you parent with confidence and calm — and that starts with understanding what’s really going on.
What Is Tongue Tie?
Tongue tie occurs when the thin piece of tissue (called the lingual frenulum) under the baby’s tongue is unusually short, tight, or thick. This limits the tongue’s range of motion — making it harder for your baby to:
Move their tongue forward
Lift it properly
Form a strong seal during breastfeeding or bottle feeding
Tongue tie can be mild or severe — and both can impact feeding, bonding, and comfort.
Signs Your Baby Might Have a Tongue Tie
Here are common indicators, from both baby and breastfeeding parent perspectives:
Baby-related signs:
Difficulty latching or staying latched
Clicking sounds during feeding
Gumming or chewing the nipple
Dribbling milk from the sides of their mouth
Frustration at the breast
Frequent feeds but still unsettled
Long feeds with poor weight gain
Windiness, colic-like symptoms, or reflux
Short tongue that can’t poke past the gums
Heart-shaped or notched tongue tip when crying
Parent-related signs (if breastfeeding):
Painful or damaged nipples
Cracked, bleeding, or pinched-looking nipples
Engorgement or blocked ducts due to poor drainage
Mastitis or low milk supply
A general feeling of “this just shouldn’t be this hard”
If you’re experiencing any of the above consistently, it’s worth a deeper look.
How Is Tongue Tie Diagnosed?
Tongue tie can’t always be spotted with a quick glance — and not all healthcare professionals are trained to assess it thoroughly. Some tongue ties are posterior (farther back), making them harder to see but still impactful.
Diagnosis often involves:
A thorough feeding assessment (not just visual)
Watching your baby latch and suck
Feeling under the tongue
Observing how the tongue moves
Ask to be referred to a tongue tie specialist, IBCLC (lactation consultant), or infant feeding team for proper evaluation.
What Happens If My Baby Has a Tongue Tie?
If feeding is affected and tongue tie is confirmed, your baby may be referred for a frenulotomy — a simple, quick procedure where the tight tissue is released to allow better tongue movement.
It’s usually done in a few seconds, with minimal discomfort, and many parents report an immediate improvement in feeding. Some babies need a bit of adjustment and relearning afterward, with gentle support and re-latching practice.
Does Tongue Tie Always Need Treatment?
Not necessarily. Some babies with a tongue tie feed beautifully and gain weight with no issues. If feeding is going well and your baby is thriving, no intervention may be needed.
But if it’s impacting feeding, weight, bonding, or your emotional wellbeing, it’s absolutely worth addressing.
Supporting Yourself Through the Process
Feeding challenges can feel deeply emotional. You may feel frustrated, dismissed, or even guilty — especially if you were told “everything looks fine” when it clearly doesn’t feel fine.
Please know:
You are not imagining it.
You are not doing anything wrong.
You are doing an incredible job seeking answers and support.
Final Thoughts
Tongue tie is more than a minor inconvenience — it can affect how your baby feeds, how you bond, and how confident you feel as a parent. But the good news is: with the right support, it can be managed. And things can get easier.
At Neutral Nest, we’re here to support you through all the little mysteries of early parenthood — with trusted advice, calming essentials, and gentle encouragement every step of the way.