How to Potty Train?
A Gentle, Practical Guide for Calm and Confident Toilet Learning
Potty training is one of the biggest milestones in a toddler’s early years — and one of the most asked-about topics among parents. If you're wondering how (and when) to start, you're not alone.
At Neutral Nest, we believe in approaching potty training with patience, empathy, and simplicity. There's no rush, no pressure, and certainly no one-size-fits-all. This stage can be a beautiful opportunity to build confidence and independence — for your little one and for you.
Here’s a gentle guide to help you begin.
When Is the Right Time to Start Potty Training?
Every child is different, but most children show signs of readiness between 18 months and 3 years.
Signs your child might be ready:
Staying dry for longer stretches (2+ hours)
Showing interest in the toilet or copying you
Letting you know when they’ve had a wee or poo
Disliking a wet or soiled nappy
Can follow simple instructions
Pulling pants up and down (or starting to try)
If you're not seeing these signs yet, no stress. Trust your child’s natural pace.
Understanding the Role of Hormones in Toilet Learning
One often-overlooked factor in potty training is the role of hormones, especially when it comes to night-time dryness.
The Hormone Behind It All: Antidiuretic Hormone (ADH)
ADH helps the body produce less urine at night. As children grow, their bodies gradually start releasing more of this hormone during sleep, which allows them to stay dry through the night.
However, some children’s bodies take longer to produce sufficient levels of ADH, and that’s entirely normal. Until their hormone levels increase naturally, they may continue to wee during the night — even if they’re fully trained during the day.
What This Means for Parents:
Night-time dryness isn’t something you can “train.”
Your child can’t help it — it’s biological, not behavioural.
Staying in nappies or pull-ups at night well into age 5 (or beyond) is common.
Stay patient, reassuring, and never shame a child for bedwetting.
You can support your child by:
Limiting fluids just before bedtime (without restricting hydration earlier in the day)
Offering the toilet before bed
Using a waterproof mattress protector for peace of mind
Remember, your child’s body is developing on its own unique timeline. Trust it.
Getting Started to Potty Train:
Prepare the Environment
Creating a calm and accessible toilet space helps your child feel more in control.
What you’ll need:
A child-sized potty, or a toilet seat insert with a sturdy step stool
Easy-to-remove clothing (e.g. elastic-waist trousers)
Lots of spare pants (underwear) — preferably soft and comfy
A calm, clutter-free bathroom space
Natural hand soap and a towel within your child’s reach
Consider involving your little one in choosing their potty or pants — this builds excitement and a sense of ownership.
How to Begin: A Step-by-Step Approach
1. Start Slow
Let your child become familiar with the potty before expecting them to use it. Read books about toilet learning together. Invite them to sit on the potty clothed at first, just to explore.
2. Establish a Gentle Rhythm
Choose a few consistent times each day to offer the potty, such as:
After waking
Before/after meals
Before bath time
Before bedtime
No need to constantly ask. Instead, create a relaxed rhythm where it becomes a natural part of the day.
3. Go Nappy-Free When You're Ready
Try a few hours of nappy-free time at home so your child can better connect the sensation of needing a wee with the act of using the potty.
Have your potty nearby, stay close, and gently observe. Accidents will happen — it’s how they learn.
4. Use Encouragement, Not Pressure
Avoid rewards or punishment. Praise effort and progress rather than results.
Say things like:
“You’re learning something new!”
“You listened to your body — that’s brilliant.”
“It’s okay, we all have accidents sometimes.”
5. Dress for Success
Choose soft, loose-fitting clothes that are easy for your child to pull down independently. Avoid anything with buttons, zips, or tricky fasteners during training.
6. Expect Accidents (and Stay Calm)
Accidents are part of the process — not a setback. Keep a change of clothes nearby, and resist reacting with frustration. A calm “Let’s clean up together” goes a long way.
7. Night-Time Will Come Later
Daytime toilet learning often happens before night-time dryness. Many children stay in pull-ups or nappies at night well beyond age 3, and that’s completely normal.
Trust the process and avoid pressure.
Extra Tips for a Calm & Conscious Approach
Lead by example: Let your child watch trusted adults or siblings use the toilet.
Stay consistent, but flexible: Life happens. It's okay to pause and try again later if needed.
Use neutral language: Try using words like “wee” and “poo” matter-of-factly — it helps remove shame or embarrassment.
Follow their cues: If they resist, don’t push. Pause and try again in a few weeks.
Final Thoughts
Toilet learning is not a race. It’s a journey toward independence, confidence, and body awareness. With love, patience, and a calm environment, your little one will get there — in their own time.
At Neutral Nest, we’re here to support you with thoughtful essentials, gentle routines, and practical tools for every stage of parenting — including this one.
So take a deep breath. You’re doing beautifully.