Introducing a New Baby to Their Sibling
A Calm, Connected Approach to Growing Your Family
Bringing home a new baby is a moment filled with love — but it can also stir up a mix of emotions, especially for your older child. Jealousy, confusion, excitement, clinginess… it’s all normal.
Whether your little one is a toddler or school-aged, preparing them to meet their sibling is a beautiful chance to nurture connection, inclusion, and reassurance from the very beginning.
At Neutral Nest, we believe the transition from only child to older sibling can be softened with care, preparation, and a little patience.
Before Baby Arrives: Laying the Groundwork
The earlier you begin gentle conversations, the more time your older child has to understand the change.
1. Talk About What’s Coming
Use simple, age-appropriate language to explain that a baby will be joining the family. You could say things like:
“The baby will cry and sleep a lot at first.”
“You’ll be a big brother/sister, which means you’ll help teach the baby about the world.”
Picture books about becoming a sibling can be really helpful here.
2. Involve Them in the Journey
Let them:
Help pick a toy or outfit for the baby
Feel the baby kick (if they want to)
Come to a scan (if allowed) or look at ultrasound photos
Choose a song or book to share with baby
3. Talk About Their Baby Story Too
Show them photos of when they were a baby. Talk about how you prepared, what they were like, and how loved they’ve always been. This helps them feel seen, not replaced.
The First Meeting: Setting the Scene
1. Let It Be Calm and Low-Key
Try to avoid crowds or overwhelming excitement. A quiet space where your child can come in at their own pace often works best.
2. Greet Your Older Child First
If they’re coming to visit in hospital or at home, give them your attention before introducing the baby. Let them feel like they still belong — because they do.
3. Don’t Force Interaction
Some children want to hold or kiss the baby right away. Others need time. That’s okay. Allow space for their own pace and emotions.
4. Consider a ‘Gift from Baby’
A small present “from the baby” can be a sweet way to build early goodwill — and make your older child feel remembered.
Early Days at Home: Nurturing Connection
1. Involve, Don’t Burden
Offer small, helpful roles (like fetching a nappy or choosing baby’s sleepsuit), but don’t over-rely on them or expect too much.
2. Keep Special One-on-One Time
Even 10–15 minutes of undivided attention can go a long way. It reminds them: You still matter. I’m still your parent, too.
3. Validate All Feelings
Jealousy? Frustration? Regression? These are normal reactions. Try phrases like:
“It’s okay to feel upset. It’s a big change.”
“You can always talk to me about how you’re feeling.”
4. Watch for Behaviour Changes
They may act younger, become clingier, or test boundaries. Respond with calm, firm love — and lots of reassurance.
Tips Based on Age
Toddlers (1–3 years):
Keep explanations very simple
Role-play with dolls or toys
Expect some confusion or possessiveness
Preschoolers (3–5 years):
Read books together about new babies
Offer choices to help them feel empowered
Let them express worries or ask questions
Older children (5+):
Be honest and open about what to expect
Involve them in daily baby care (if they want to)
Encourage their growing role as sibling and helper
Final Thoughts
Introducing a new baby to their sibling is less about the moment, and more about the ongoing relationship you build over time.
There will be tender moments and tough ones — that’s completely normal. But with love, patience, and small everyday gestures, you’re laying the foundations for a bond that will grow and evolve throughout their lives.
At Neutral Nest, we’re here to support growing families with practical tools and gentle encouragement — for the first meeting, and the many messy, beautiful moments that follow.