Do I Have Postpartum Depression?
A Gentle Guide to Understanding What You’re Feeling — and Finding Your Way Through
You’ve had a baby. Everyone says it’s meant to be the happiest time of your life. But instead of joy, you feel… flat. Anxious. Tearful. Disconnected. Maybe even numb.
You’re not yourself — or at least, not the version you thought you’d be. And now you’re wondering: Is this still the baby blues? Or is it something more?
If this sounds like you, you might be experiencing postpartum depression (PND) — and first things first:
You are not alone, you are not broken, and you are not failing.
At Neutral Nest, we’re here to hold space for the real, raw parts of early parenthood — the ones people don’t always talk about. So let’s gently explore what postpartum depression is, how to recognise it, and how to ask for help.
What Is Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression (also called postnatal depression or PND) is a mood disorder that can affect people after having a baby. It’s different from the “baby blues,” which are very common and usually pass within the first two weeks.
PND can begin anytime in the first year after birth — not just in the early days — and often comes on gradually, making it hard to spot at first.
Signs You Might Have Postpartum Depression
You don’t need to tick every box — but if several of these feel familiar, it’s time to reach out for support.
Emotional symptoms:
Persistent sadness, tearfulness, or hopelessness
Feeling numb, detached, or emotionally flat
Guilt, shame, or a sense of failure
Anxiety, racing thoughts, or panic
Trouble bonding with your baby
Feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks
Thoughts like “I’m not a good parent” or “My baby deserves better”
Physical symptoms:
Constant exhaustion or insomnia (even when baby sleeps)
Loss of appetite (or comfort eating)
Aches, pains, or unexplained physical discomfort
Feeling “on edge” or unable to relax
In more severe cases:
Intrusive thoughts about harm (to yourself or your baby)
Feeling like you want to run away or disappear
Thoughts of not wanting to continue
If you’re having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, please seek urgent help. These thoughts are not your fault — they are symptoms, and they can be treated.
Why Does Postpartum Depression Happen?
There’s no single cause. It’s often a combination of:
Hormonal changes after birth
Sleep deprivation
Birth trauma or a difficult labour
Lack of support or isolation
A history of anxiety, depression, or mental health struggles
Pressure to be “perfect” in early parenthood
It’s important to remember: you didn’t cause this, and it doesn’t define your love or ability to parent.
What’s the Difference Between the Baby Blues and PND?
When it starts:
Baby blues: Around days 3–5 after birth
PND: Anytime within the first year after birth
How long it lasts:
Baby blues: A few days to up to 2 weeks
PND: Can last for weeks or months without support
How it feels:
Baby blues: Tearful, emotional, weepy but still connected
PND: Deep sadness, disconnection, guilt, or numbness
Daily functioning:
Baby blues: You’re usually still able to manage day-to-day life
PND: Everyday tasks may feel overwhelming or impossible
Need for support:
Baby blues: Usually resolves on its own
PND: Needs and deserves professional support
What Can You Do If You Think You Have PND?
1. Tell someone you trust
Your partner, a friend, a midwife, or your GP. Saying it out loud is the first and bravest step. You do not have to struggle in silence.
2. Speak to your GP or health visitor
They can talk through what you’re experiencing and help you access support — whether that’s therapy, medication, or a combination.
3. Know that treatment works
With the right support, you can and will feel better. You won’t always feel this way. Things can shift, gently and gradually.
4. Let go of pressure to ‘bounce back’
Your job is not to be perfect — it’s to be real. Some days, that means surviving. That’s okay.
Self-Compassion While You Heal
Lower the bar: The house doesn’t need to be tidy. Your baby doesn’t need constant stimulation. You both need love and rest.
Prioritise small things: Drink water. Eat toast. Go outside for five minutes. Text a friend. These are wins.
Remind yourself: Your worth is not based on productivity or performance. You are already enough.
Final Thoughts
If you're asking, “Do I have postpartum depression?”, you're likely feeling out of sorts — and that in itself is a signal to reach out.
You don’t have to wait until things get “bad enough.” If you’re not feeling like yourself, that’s reason enough to ask for help.
At Neutral Nest, we’re here for every version of your parenthood story — the joyful parts, the uncertain ones, and the parts where you quietly ask, “Is it just me?”
It’s not just you. You’re not alone.
And with time and support, you will feel like yourself again.